oh

I feel like everyone will still be happy even if im gone.I can see that without me they still have other friends and they are much happier without me.I can feel everyone drifting away from me.They just forgot about me.Im basically nothing,My life is such a big waste.

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Everyday i tell myself that everything is alright.I pretend that im fine so that no one will worry about me,sometimes i even believe it.I try to help other people because i dont know how to help myself.I just want everyone to be happy even if im not happy.I pretend im not hurt and act as if im the happiest person.I just i dont know if i can do it anymore.My depression is coming back.Now im thinking that maybe i never was happy i just got used to acting it that i believed it myself.Im sad.Something really is wrong with me but i dont know what it is.I feel alone all the time.Im scared if tell people my problem they will think im an attention seeker or a drama queen..Im so sick and tired of pretending everythings fine when its not.Eight months of being clean just all went down the drain after 12 cuts.Im so sad.

I dont know

I know i havent blogged for like maybe a year now? Im not sure but im only gonna blog when I feel like it and when i feel like i wanna tell a story or shit.I want to be able to express myself in my own blog cuz it is my blog and i dont give a fuck about what you think.